I hate my job. It dawned on me the other day that I am a glorified secretary. I answer the phone which I despise. I greet people and seat them. I schedule appointments. I type letters. I open the mail. It is boring and not very fulfilling. I find that this job anyone can do. This job therefore is not for me. I don’t want a job that just anyone can do. I don’t want a job that I dread going to because I know it is a waste of my life. I believe I have already gotten the experience I needed from it. Perhaps spring will bring me to a different path. It is like negative 20 out with the wind chill and hardly a time of year to be making any major changes. The only two things that hold me down are my cat and my belongings.
Yesterday I had it in my head that I was going to write a book and go on tour. The book would be about writing a book and going on tour and creating my success that way. Finding purpose in irony. I only really need two hundred and eighty two dollars a month for my car payment. Even that I would be willing to give up for purpose. However I am going to need it to drive myself to all these cities I will be visiting when I go on my book tour. I better do it before Sage retires or dies otherwise he won’t be able to see me when I travel to Providence for the tour. I have to laugh at that delusion. It’s not even a real delusion. It’s just there for humor and fun. It makes me smile and that really is all that matters. The hard question is what about this book? I am positive I can do it. I am positive it will work. It just is work and will take some time. I need to find some type of outline or wait, a thesis would be the best place to start. Blank paper. Blank mind.